“Sometimes it’s hard to fathom how different my experience of the COVID-19 pandemic is from the experiences of those not in healthcare. I’m covered in PPE for almost the entirety of my work day, I wash or sanitize my hands incessantly, and I am constantly considering how not to spread disease. No matter what I do, I’m at risk and sometimes I’m scared. I haven’t seen any family – other than on a screen – for what is probably just weeks but feels like many months.
My worst nightmare is to be the reason a loved one gets sick.
The risk and fear aside, I often find myself thinking about how lucky I am. I leave my house every day. I come home to a loving partner. I have a stable job and a regular paycheck. I socialize with my colleagues. I get to help people through some of the most difficult times of their lives. I’m learning on the front lines of a historic pandemic.
Everyone has had unique challenges to overcome during this pandemic. The other day I walked into a patient’s room. She was a young woman who has been spending the pandemic in a small crowded home. She was admitted for a bad infection and was doing a little better after a night of antibiotics. I smiled through my mask and face shield, hoping for the umpteenth time that the warmth I was trying to convey would be communicated through my eyes alone.
I asked her how she was feeling, knowing very well that in her current condition she would still be feeling very sick.
She looked up at me and said, in between rapid breaths, ‘Doc, being here is a vacation right now.'”
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