“I’ve been feeling quite anxious. It’s difficult not knowing what to expect. The other day, they had me going to the ICU in preparation for changes they are planning for the unit. I’ve worked in a step-up unit, but not in the ICU before. That’s pretty scary for me. The rationing of PPE makes it even more scary.
But when I look past being scared, I know I just need to do my best. I’d rather be here than at home, watching the news.
I’d rather know what’s going on by being at the centre of it.
I feel for my family. Some of them are from out of town, five hours up north – but they call me everyday. My sister on FaceTime keeps telling me, ‘I just don’t want you to die.’ It’s hard to find motivation when everyone around you is scared – but I feel I’m motivating for them, and that’s okay.
What worries me the most are all the long term care patients. One of my patients from long term care recently died with COVID with no family at the bedside. You don’t really feel like you can be there completely for the patient because you’re trying to minimize the amount of time that you go into the room, preserve PPE, and protect yourself and others you’re in contact with in case you’re exposed.
It’s really nice to see the city cheering at 7:30 on my days off – I really like that, and that’s even more motivating. I know everyone is doing their best to contribute to beating this pandemic.
My message to people is to be patient – good things come to those who wait and work together – and we’re doing it.”