False face
*MSIGECAPS:
- Depressed Mood
- Sleep decreased
- Interest decreased in activities
- Guilt or worthlessness
- Energy decreased
- Concentration difficulties
- Appetite disturbance or weight loss
- Psychomotor agitation
- Suicidal thoughts
M-
morning comes another
filled with some worry and some wonder
worry—how to pass another day?
sadness begins to weigh
wonder—why me?
why me?
followed by silence of the dead sea
S-
sleep, oh sleep where have you gone
i feel so tired and worn out
as i slip on the false face
the mirror on the wall says;
abuse is difficult to bear
staying is not fair
holding back years of tears
respond i, no
abuse is there
it’s just normal wear and tear
I-
i see Him with every morning
my heart still skips a beat, but now in warning
even when He won’t speak
my ears still play the verbal reek
it has been so long—
since with friends i have gone along
my work absence has been prolonged
and what brought joy is long gone
G-
getting my daughter ready for school
she thinks her mommy is so cool
with only failure to stand on, i am
child—a shell of a person who does not belong
wonder if she knows?
should i disclose?
this is not how a healthy relationship looks
hold on to yourself—the world is full of crooks
E-
ever so drained from simply living
torn is every fibre of being
i have thought about leaving—I swear
but—they tell me i should just bear
because if i leave people will stare
and women were built to compromise,
was i not aware?
C-
contemplations about life
take over my afternoons
flashes on the inward eye, only images of physical wounds
He is so strong—
one smack to the face can bring you to ground
He is so quick—
no one will know when He will hit
A-
another appointment to attend
when will this all end
she questions—when did you last eat?
apologies—my answer is rather bleak
hunger is simply not a trigger
He will hate me if i was any bigger
P-
possibility of leaving Him
possibility of leaving Him
let’s think about it some more
i really need to be sure
oh the dinner needs cooking
but just the thought is so off-putting
S-
sigh, the night has come again
the pain is the same and the false face remains
wish i for the eternal rest
a demise that will end this infest
but—i have to wake up again
so my child can stay sane
*MSIGECAPS is a mnemonic taught in medical school to help students learn the criteria for the diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
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A level of stress, worry, fear and anxiety in life is not only not bad, but can also be helpful and prepare a person to deal with life threats and have a plan for it. But when this stress, worry, fear, and anxiety intensifies and persists, it becomes abnormal and morbid, triggering a variety of reactions, including physical, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral reactions.Contact an online doctor if you experience symptoms of depression at https://mdconnected.ca/
Chillingly familiar bits are in this poem, almost every line of it.
Frightfully brilliant.
Or brilliantly frightful.
No, wait, it’s both.
Love it!!