Why do some deaths hit harder than others?

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  • Christine says:

    I don’t know if I believe in ‘soulmates’ exactly, but I have been thinking about this exact question myself recently. I think there are certain people that we meet in our lives that we were destined to meet, make an impact on us, or are someone to which we are connected to in some way. A friend from high school died in a car accident and I was beside myself for weeks and he was my friend, but not an extraordinary friendship. My HS boyfriend was beaten up pretty bad and put into the hospital, I felt it the night he was beat up and immediately had to call him. My grandmother passed and she visited me often in my dreams, but I could not function for months after her passing. And a friend committed suicide two years ago. I sensed that something was wrong even though we hadn’t been close for a while but had just started speaking again. It was like a part of me was broken with all these experiences. My mother passed away 13 years ago and whether it’s because I didn’t allow myself to fall into that depression ( I gave birth 12 days after her death), I haven’t dealt with any of it yet, or the connection was just different? We were close. She was my best friend and I mourned but it wasn’t the same.

  • Sandy Buchman says:

    Your compassion and deep personal reflection of your experience caring for this patient are amongst the most important aspects of the care we bring as physicians to the bedside. Never forgetting her will allow her to accompany you – and all you have learned and experienced – in your future role as an attending staff physician. And it’s not just her death that you have learned from, but the inspiration of her life – her struggles with her health, her optimism and hope. Thanks for sharing this reflection. Your patients are lucky to have you as their physician.

    • Ali Rendely says:

      Thank you, Dr. Buchman. Your kind words mean a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time to read my article, I appreciate your support.

  • Courtney says:

    What a beautiful article by an incredible doctor!

  • B&Z says:

    That is something can’t stop crying you are. A very caring Doctor That Means so much to a patient
    You have Worked & Studied very Hard for many years YOU ARE THE BEST

  • Lilian says:

    Moving article. Thanks for sharing your reflection!


Alexandra Rendely


Alexandra Rendely is a physical medicine and rehabilitation specialist at the University Health Network’s Toronto Rehabilitation Institute.

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